Theory vs. Practice

When we were expecting (we - ha!), a lot of people told us some variation on "there is really nothing you can do to prepare for a new baby".  We thanked them for the advice and dutifully read a selection of baby/newborn books and kind of half-a**ed our way through the online baby class offered by our hospital.  If we lived in a sit-com or movie, I suppose we would have gone to a class where we would have practiced putting diapers on dolls and hilarity would ensue (oh - that dad can't figure out the diaper!  and how funny - that doll's onesie is inside out!).  We would all giggle and then cut to a scene of perfect domestic tranquility: mom, dad and baby all snuggled up reading nursery rhymes and - look despite the inside-out onesie we've actually got this whole baby thing figured out within the span of 30 minutes (minus commercial breaks).  That whole montage my friends ... is a load of crap.

That doll that is So Hard to diaper - HA!  You want to know how you can practice for diapering a baby?  Try to diaper and dress my cat (the squirrelly, bitey one).  Do it while there is an unattended Big Mac on the other side of the room.  That will still be easier than trying to secure a diaper on a 5 month old baby.  Actually, the cat is a pretty good stand in for a five month old.  Try throwing the kitty in the Bjorn and doing the dishes ... let me know how that goes ... you might need to have the nurse dial for you.  Try giving the cat a bath.  Try lulling the sweet kitty to sleep with a snuggle and a reading of Good Night Moon (note that for a truly realistic experience the book should be bacon-scented).  I have not made it to the end of that book in weeks.  Somewhere around saying good night to the mittens, the baby looses her stuff.  I am guessing Danger has a similar tolerance for bed time stories. 

Of course, there are wonderful, amazing moments with the kitty too.  Every night, when he is exhausted, he snuggles up on your lap and purrs.  He knows who you are and gets excited every day when you come home from work. You love the kitty more than life itself and you would throw yourself in front of any coyote that even looked at him funny ... but ... man is that cat exhausting to live with.  Maybe the cat isn't the perfect metaphor for the baby but it does work in a lot of areas (for example, they both seem to enjoy chewing on socks) .

Today when I got to the babysitter's house, her youngest son was throwing up.  She said he'd been complaining of a stomach ache since the night before, but they thought he was just trying to get out of eating dinner (apparently the little guy is not a fan of enchiladas).  So I unexpected ended up with a day with the baby.  We actually had a really good day - we went to Target and got some birthday presents for cousin Nathan, we did a bunch of laundry, we went to my meetings (baby at meetings turns out to be a big hit), and we cleaned up a little around the house.  All in all the little munchkin was pretty easy going (especially compared to how she has been lately).  But when 5:00 rolled around and it was time to go to tot swim, I sent Phoebe and Daddy off without me because I was just completely exhausted. 

I think that part of the exhaustion comes from how active Phoebe is these days.  She has never really been a "snuggly" baby, and now that she can (sort of) move around, she really has no use for down-time.  When you are holding her, she is constantly squirming and wiggling and flinging herself in the general direction of things she would like to eat.  It can be quite the upper-body workout to try to contain all 15+ pounds of baby momentum.  Add to that the fact that the baby doesn't seem to need to nap (unlike her parents!) and by the end of the day I am just worn out.  On days like today when I get up with Phoebe at 5:30 and then watch her all day I end up contemplating a 7:30 bedtime myself. 

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE Phoebe.  I think we have an amazing baby and I am so lucky to get to be her mom.  I love watching her explore and learn new things.  It has been really neat to see her try to figure out the mechanics of motion (and to watch her get really angry when she ends up going backwards instead of forward).  I am grateful that my flexible schedule lets me spend more time with my baby than most working mothers are allowed.  It is just that days like today leave me pretty drained.  When Jeremy comes downstairs from putting Phoebe in her crib, we'll probably have just enough energy to hit the Tivo button and watch one show (if we're feeling especially alert it might even be an hour-long show) and chances are I'll nod off at least once.  Tomorrow we'll get up and start the whole process over again.  And despite the bone-crushing exhaustion, we feel remarkably lucky and blessed.

Large and in charge.

You thought I was kidding about the socks - didn't you?  And those are my good Smart Wools ...